Bear (2009)

When two young couples on a road trip make the fatal decision to take a short cut through a deserted forest, they find themselves terrified and stranded with a blown tyre in the territory of a clan of colossal bears. In the ensuing panic a female bear is shot and killed only for the bear's mate, a monstrous Grizzly to emerge from the darkness to seek vicious revenge. Trapped in their car and fighting for their lives, the group must use their wits and every last drop of survival instinct to escape as they face a fierce showdown to the death.


For a film called Bear there just isn't enough bear. It should be called Four Annoying People In A Car. There's plenty of that!


First the four drive off road to take a shortcut and end up DEEP IN THE WOODS. Only it seems as if they have driven just a few yards off the main road when the car breaks down. The film makers seem incapable of showing the passing of time, and don't want to put any effort in to creating a sense of isolation. Throughout the entire film one doesn't get the sense that they are ever more than just round the corner from a road and civilisation, despite being reminded otherwise constantly by the bickering human cast.


Then it seems to take a whole afternoon to change a tyre! Just in time for it to get dark and for the nocturnal bear to show its face. Once night falls its time to be reminded every few minutes that we are watching a film. Conveniently lit trees, and lights being reflected on the car from every angle. It doesnt take much effort to spot a lamp and its stand reflected in a window on more than one occasion.


And they don't stop bickering! For the entire film you are stuck in a car in an unconvincingly lit lay-by with the most one dimensional, dull and annoying characters you've ever seen. Without a doubt the character with the most depth is the bear, who incidentally is also the best actor. 
We spent entire scenes repeating to ourselves "Why don't they get out of the car? Why don't they get out of the car? Why don't they just GET OUT OF THE CAR!?"
Bear is similar to Granny in the sense that you sympathise with the killer very early on.


We can't finish without mentioning that on two occasions the car gets flipped onto its top and the seats miraculously get folded up in the process, leaving plenty of room for the four actors to sit and move around comfortably. Because who needs continuity and realism when you've got four idiots arguing in a car for 79 minutes!?


C.

Wasp Woman (1959)

Cosmetic magnate Janice Starlin feels that she is beginning to look her age, so when Professor Zinthrop announces that he believes he can reverse the ageing process by utilising the royal jelly of a queen wasp, she eagerly puts herself forward as the first to test the theory. Her over dosage, however, turns her into a killer wasp, devouring her prey.


Roger Corman is one of those film directors synonymous with trash, so we know we're in safe hands with Wasp Woman.


The Film's description says it all really. Those two sentences at the top pretty much detail everything that happens in the film. 
There aren't many outrageously awful moments unfortunately, however we did still manage quite a few laughs a la MST3K. The makeup effects aren't terrible considering the year the film was made, and the lady of the title was, at times, quite creepy.
The film suffers (like many others of its kind) with leaving the reveal of said woman to the very end. And just when she has arrived and has begun to spread here insect carnage, the film just gives up and ends!


As stated there aren't many awful moments, but on two occasions we couldn't quite believe what we were seeing. The professor shows off his age reversal experiments by injecting a guinea pig. In the next shot it has become a (slightly smaller) rat! No one seems to notice, however, and the professor's reputation stays intact. The same professor returns to his lab one morning and discovers that one of his tiny cages he uses to keep a cat in is open and empty. He stares at the cage for a moment, and then reaches into the empty space, you know, just to make sure!


There will always be a special place in our hearts for Wasp Woman, for it is the creature's eyes that inspired our name many years ago. But unfortunately it just doesn't live up to some of the other trash that we subject ourselves to. We still have faith in Mr Corman however, and are sure he will make another appearance at some point.


C.